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by TroubleMoi



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Angst, Domestic, Erwin is a coward, Levi (Shingeki no Kyojin) is In Denial, M/M, eruri - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-11-13
Updated: 2017-11-13
Packaged: 2019-02-01 20:01:57
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,803
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12711960
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TroubleMoi/pseuds/TroubleMoi
Summary: Levi and Erwin are going through a crisis and Levi don't know how to deal with that.





	Home

**Author's Note:**

> Hello fellow eruri shippers ! 
> 
> So this is my first os and english is not my first language so please be indulgent with me ! ^^  
> However any critics will be appreciated to become better. 
> 
> Enjoy !

He was looking through the window, his hands fidgeting, narrowed eyes dark and hollow. The soft light coming from outside exposing his complexion, paler than usual, almost ghostly. He looks no different from the time he was struggling to get out of bed and empty his gut in the toilet, body exhausted, a taste of acid lingering in his mouth. He scrutinized his hands, the sight making him sick, his nails were ravaged because of compulsive biting habits. It was disgusting, but he couldn’t stop it. It was one of his way to cope with anxiety. He shut his eyes, the pounding of his head making him winces. He didn’t have much sleep, again, he couldn’t rest with all going on in his mind. It was as if he didn’t want to see the day comes so he stays awake as long as possible, until he couldn’t take it anymore and fall in a hectic slumber. Part of the problem was the warmth he needed to fall in Morpheus arms was lacking lately, giving him a harder time. He turns back from the window. Head low and disappointed, he walks back to the bed, their bed which has been the witness of countless passionate and tender interactions. Now the only witness of his sorrow.

Again he couldn’t catch him that morning for their usual morning routine. Feeling overwhelmed about that defeat, he tries to halt his breakdown by going back to sleep, back to nothingness, back to darkness. 

The only thing he succeed in that day was being silent when his pillow dampened.

 

It is common knowledge that every long relationship gets to a point where monotony hits and the sparkles of first months or first years disappear. He was no fool, he had too many examples in his life to support the fact, starting with his own mother. But something in the way he caresses his neck, murmured sweet words to him, bring him close when he feels tired indicates Levi that perhaps, they were meant to be and eternity wasn’t such a cliché word anymore.

They could handle anything coming their way. He thought.

 

Levi noticed quite lately. It began with the way he faces the other side of the room and Levi was let starring at his back before drifting difficultly to sleep. The way he tenses when Levi reach to him and the way he avoids him when needy lips try to touch his. The raven-haired man didn’t think twice about it, knowing that his husband’s job brings him a lot of pressure and a never ending source of dilemma and issues. Especially since he climbed the ladder. The way is face lighted up when hearing about the news was priceless. The tiny man almost teared up. He was so grateful that finally every efforts his husbands made paid. He knows how much dedication his lover puts into his work. This information came like a breath of fresh hair to Levi and he thought that possibly everything could be the same again between them.

However, it was only the visible part of the iceberg. Because under the cold water the larger chunk was still waiting to emerge.

Erwin’s new position for what he works himself to death bring him thrill and he felt rewarded. However, the smile he adorned when announcing it to his other half faded slowly as his paper stack grow in his office. The petite man was becoming use to rearrange back the paper into place and take the cups of coffee to the kitchen at the end of the day.

It leads also to Erwin’s presence becoming scarce at home and Levi becoming use to face an empty seat at dinner time which resumed often to a half ingested plate. Besides when the Blond dares to show up, he was drained, irritated and didn’t bother to be implicated in his partner’s life. One night when they succeeded at eating together He didn’t even raise a brow when his tiny husband told him about the time he was going to hit a guy in the supermarket. The fool wanted to outdo Levi and other clients in the long queue. Levi snapped at him and told him to comeback in that fucking queue before he throws him a watermelon in the face. The guy complied rapidly when he saw Levi silver death stare. He was pretty proud of that and he snorts thinking about that livid bastard face. Erwin didn’t even stretch the corner of his lips.

Life was going on even if Levi was struggling more and more to get even a “hello” from Erwin but still he didn’t bother the blond with that and keep is growing misery for himself. One day, in his rush Erwin forget his office’s keys. Levi noticed it just before he heard the car leaving the courtyard. Once again he left Levi without kiss and a goodbye. Levi took that as a sign. He has to do something about them, he grabbed the keys put them in his jacket and leave his house.

It was close to 9 o’clock when he arrived in front of the tall building that embodied Erwin’s company. Before leaving the house he sends a quick vocal message to Erwin to tell him that his dumb ass forgot his keys and that he was coming to give it to him. But he only noticed now that the Blond didn’t read the message, the little signal was still grey and not blue revealing him that Erwin didn’t open it yet. He sighted, hopefully he didn’t get back home. As Levi approaches the tall building and the glass doors appeared through the flows of people walking, rushing on the street. His eyes fell onto a tall man, with golden hair neatly combed, a grey costume that fit perfectly in all the places and a magnificent smile, a smile he missed so much he didn’t remember the last time he saw it on the blonde face. Erwin. Levi tried to shorten their distance, engrossed by his husband cheerfulness and nonchalance, he almost missed the person standing next to him, who was as gleeful as his husband. A group of men in suit was in front of them hiding the petite brunette who was addressing his husband. A woman, with a dress so tight that Levi could swear that her breasts were going to burst out. Her hand was casually gripping on Erwin’s biceps, she leaned on him when she laughed out loud. Erwin was chuckling and taking a sip of his coffee without looking away from her, she recovered quickly and smiled shyly at him. Levi was stuck, mouth agape, eyes darting between both of them. They finished their coffee and went inside, Erwin opens the door for her. 

Levi followed them with his eyes before they disappear behind the glass doors. Then he looked around him, feeling lost like a child in a theme park. He turns around and leaves, keys forgotten in the back of his jean’s pocket. 

He felt the same.

That day passed like a dream, he wasn’t conscious or tried not to be. He came back home and clean the house all day. He began by the kitchen, then the living room, he did also their tiny bathroom and finish by the master bedroom. He gathered Erwin’s dirty laundry, he dusted the shelves, rearranged their wardrobe, then changed their sheets. He tried at least. because the moment he touched them it was the end. He tightened his grip on the light blue colour sheets, breathing arduously, letting out a cry, he retained for days, weeks, months. Everything was coming back at him and he couldn’t resist the wave anymore. He was tired to put on a face, to behave like everything was fine while the world was crumbling around him, while their couple was shattering each day passing. There is so much he can take.

That night he made a decision.

 

Levi heard the fidgeting of a key, a door opening with a cracking sound and then shut down. He heard footsteps from the hall, heavy and slow. He closed his eyes, aiming to regain composure. He can do it. The steps became louder, he caught a sight before seeing the one he was waiting for. The blond finally appeared in the living room, his face showing surprise as soon as he saw the other man on the coach, arm crossed, face tensed. He looked at that expensive silver sphere that indicates time on his wrist. 

“Isn’t it a bit too late to be up Levi? you should be asleep” the blond acknowledged him, removing his jacket and tie, his small case waiting at his feet. 

Silent responds him though he could have had an answer through Levi’s narrowed and stormy eyes if he would even spare a look.

Erwin finally glances at him sensing discomfort, he put two digits on his nose and massages it. All he needed at that instant was his pillow and a good night of sleep. He looks annoyed. Levi noticed. how dare that bast- “If you have something to talk about, I hope it can wait tomorrow as I really need to slee-“

“Fuck shit Erwin!” Levi snapped before Erwin could even finish what he was saying, this stupid blond was too much for him. Erwin was being too casual and it just makes Levi more upset as time goes by. He thought of small hands, laughs, coffee, tight dress and that’s all it takes. he sprung from the couch and stand, rage showing in all his tense muscle, his lips as tight as a line. “You fucking cannot tell me what the fuck to do after you come home at fucking one in the morning!” Erwin was stunned, surprised by Levi outburst, he never said anything about his schedule. Sleep deprivation, stress and irritation never mingle well. This and Levi going crazy on him push Erwin to the point where he cannot stay calm and diplomatic longer.

“Do you think that I choose to come back this late? Who do you think I do that for?! You are being ungrateful Levi!” Erwin snapped back at him, arm moving sharply to show how upset he was at Levi reaction. “I do that for you!” He shouted. Face contorted, almost red and out of breath, he searches for Levi’s eyes which never leave his during that whole confrontation. 

“For me?” the raven-haired men hissed, it came as a whisper but the disgust he felt was showing in his words. He raised his head to defy him, he came nearer to Erwin who follows all the move of the smaller man. “You... don’t even try to bullshit me” he says threatening. “Not when, you don’t even fucking give me the time of day!” He cried. Erwin was observing him like he didn’t understand.   
This bastard was playing with his patience too much. “It is because of her?” Levi said words burning, throat tightening around his words. Erwin stared at him with the dumbest look he could have had “What”? Oh no if he thinks he could get away with that he was wrong Levi thought. Erwin was mumbling “Christ Levi if this is a joke that is not fun-”

“You forgot your keys” he searches his eyes “So I figured that I could bring it back to you” He said bitterly. “But when I arrived I saw you with…her” his voice weakened at the last word. He glares at Erwin as the latter come to the realisation. He exhales “Levi…” But the little man was so angered and hurt. He couldn’t keep it anymore to himself “And when I saw you smiling and laughing with her I understood” the raven hair man added as finality. 

“This is not what you think it is” Erwin said firmly. 

“This is fucking exactly what I think it is Erwin you don’t get to bullshit me twice!” Levi temper was boiling and Erwin’s was at a close temperature.

“Because I am not!” He shouted in Levi face, the smaller man was stunned for a second.   
“This was Sofia from accounting she is a great colleague but that is all!” “I can’t believe you are accusing me of what ? … of cheating?” the Blond was dejected, disappointed, Levi might even discern hurt in his expression if he looks close enough.

Even with all his might, Levi couldn’t hide his distress any longer “You don’t even touch me anymore” He attempted to say it in accusing tone but as soon as the words got out of his mouth they fall flat, vulnerable. Erwin searches his eyes, his throat feeling heavy. “You don’t wait for me anymore” Levi went on, and that is the truth each morning Erwin would usually wait for Levi and kiss him goodbye. Nowadays Erwin would just leave to work as soon as he was ready. Erwin couldn’t handle that look and he turns his gaze to the case at his feet, avoiding Levi resigned eyes. Levi sighed, voice uneasy, he reached Erwin’s hand to convey what he couldn’t say with his own mouth, Erwin’s tensed at his touch, still avoiding his eyes. “I miss you” Levi blurted out finally, ashamed, he let his head fall, an attempt to hide the liquid threatening to drop from his eyes. Still he couldn’t hide the shudder that come through his body. Erwin’s eyes were glassy. This is exact, he neglected the only person that really counted for him. His other half, as cheesy as it may sound. That wasn’t is goal for sure but with everything crawling back at him with his job and new position, he was feeling so exhausted, he had too much in mind, and focusing was becoming more difficult with the amount of work accumulated, he thought he was doing a favour to Levi when he didn’t bother him with preoccupation, fears and… depression. He saw Levi looks, he saw him being less open around him, tiptoeing, he saw it all and he still didn’t do anything about that. Because he was such a selfish coward and instead of being open with him he just thought it was better to avoid him. But now they had to face the results of his actions. 

Slowly Erwin detached his palms from Levi’s and reached for his lover face with both of his hands. he raised his head so that he could meet his lover’s eyes. There was no avoidance anymore. The look Levi gave him broke him a little more.  
Levi’s face was already a mess, eyes and nose red, cheeks moistened.

“Levi” Erwin whispers. The petite man reacts to his voice and gazes at him, waiting, hoping. “I know how my action might have looked to you” he began, inhaling “I have never wanted once to make you feel like you are neglected and put aside” he said caressing his lover’s face with a thumb, touching his dampened cheek. “and as your Husband I promised you to be by your side during hard and good times and I am sorry I failed to fulfil that promise” Erwin’s eyes closed. More tears were escaping Levi’s pale eyes, he sniffed. “But please…” He brought their forehead together “Please don’t forget that as the man I love and married I will always be by your side and only yours” He murmured, heart tightening in his chest. At his words Levi closed the gaps and join their lips together a small gasp escaping his lips as soon as he touched the Blonde’s. He missed the sensation of warmth from Erwin’s chapped lips. The tall man deepened the kiss, opened his mouth and let his tongue caress Levi’s. Levi sights, contented. The kiss was slow, expressing regrets and affection. Erwin’s right hands slides on Levi’s throat, touching, caressing his shoulders, his sides until it reaches his hips. Erwin’s big hands stay there, a comforted presence. Levi moaned during Erwin exploration, welcoming his touch again on his body. He almost forgets how it felt to have those big hands on his body. Levi wasn’t remaining still either. He touches Erwin’s large shoulder, face and hair, he was rediscovering.

Soon those touches let him feel unsatisfied and needy. He reached for Erwin’s shirt and began to unbutton it with hasty and expert movements he removed the white material easily. Levi took a moment to admire the body he adores so much. His eyes were contemplating, searching, for every familiar scratch and marks on his body. He looks at Erwin again and Erwin looks back at him, eyes tell him everything he needs to know and more.   
Feeling overwhelmed, Levi threw his head on his torso, encircling his arms around him, Erwin embraced him back.

It felt like home again.


End file.
